Apace of Change

by Damian Bariexca, Ed.D.

Archive for April, 2008

More Than You Ever Cared to Know

I’ve taken the liberty of responding to Doug’s opt-in meme because there is clearly a demand in the blogosphere for more personal information about me. I must give the people what they want.

What I Was Doing Ten Years Ago

I was two months shy of my 21st birthday and finishing up my Junior Professional Experience in a 7th grade English classroom. I’m told my cooperating teacher remarked to a friend of mine, “He’ll be a good… high school English teacher” (haha, joke’s on her!). Also, I was getting paperwork in order to student teach at – wait for it – Allentown High School, where I got to student teach under my former 11th grade teacher and one of my main influences in becoming a teacher (this wasn’t my high school; I just followed her there!).

Five Things on my To-Do List for Today

Not much, I’m afraid, as it’s after 10pm, but here are 5 things I did today:

  1. Scored some reading quizzes on Twelfth Night
  2. Attended my final Statistics class – significant because it’s my last class of my last course of my graduate degree!
  3. Put together more application packets for school psychologist positions for next school year
  4. Set up a new wiki for my Multicultural Studies students to pool their research on contemporary Native Americans (it’s empty now, but check back in a week or two!)
  5. Agreed to do a guest speaker spot in a graduate ed-tech class being taught by a colleague in July. Details are sketchy as yet, but wikis, Twitter, Skype, and RSS were all part of the discussion. I’m really looking forward to this!

Snacks I Enjoy

  • Chunky peanut butter and honey on whole wheat
  • Extra sharp cheddar cheese (no such thing as too sharp!)
  • Dark chocolate (no such thing as too bitter!)
  • Raw vegetables
  • Grilled chicken and baby spinach salad
  • Salt & vinegar potato chips

Things I Would Do if I Were a Billionaire

  • Become a full-time doctoral student
  • Pay off my house
  • Throw $1 million into a 529 account for each of my kids’ college funds, but only $120K at a time, so as to avoid the gift tax (wait… better make it $5 million apiece).
  • Donate much and often
  • Travel. Everywhere.

Three of My Bad Habits

Mine are really similar to Doug’s:

  1. Nail biting
  2. Unchecked sarcasm
  3. Habitual swearing (but only on personal time, prospective employers who may have Googled me!)

Five Places I’ve Lived

  1. Manchester Twp., New Jersey – Born and raised
  2. 31 General Guisan-Strasse, Basel, Switzerland – Lived here for a year (June 1983 – June 1984) and attended International School of Basel while my dad temporarily worked at the global headquarters of Ciba (then Ciba-Geigy)
  3. Claude Gibb Hall, Northumbria University, Newcastle, UK – Did a semester abroad here from Sept – Dec 1997 – fell in love with the city and started supporting Newcastle United (for my sins)
  4. Woodbridge Drive, Doylestown, Pennsylvania – Our first foray into homeownership! We lived here from May 2004 – Aug 2006
  5. Bedminster Twp., Pennsylvania – Where I currently reside with my wife Stephanie and our two kids, Dylan & Kiera

Five Jobs I’ve Had

  1. Bag boy/cart wrangler/cashier, Shop Rite – my first job, junior year of high school!
  2. Dorm security, The College of New Jersey – it guaranteed me on-campus housing and put gas in my car
  3. Television service representative – one summer, I was hired to go room-to-room in a hospital and charge patients $5/day for the privilege of watching 5 channels and the same 4 movies on an endless loop. I still have lingering guilt over the moral implications of that job, and it’s been over 10 years. At least I got a lot of reading done that summer.
  4. Long-term substitute teacher – I really enjoyed the 3 months or so I spent subbing for a middle school phys. ed. teacher. The physical educators with whom I worked were absolutely fantastic, model professionals, and a lot of fun to work with. I still think about them from time to time.
  5. High school English teacher – since September 2000!

I’ll beg off from tagging anyone, and do as Doug did – if you want to take part, consider yourself tagged.

Ain’t Misbehavin’, Part II: Electric Boogaloo

(what?)

Let’s backtrack. We already know that behavior generally serves one of four major functions, and that we have to find an alternate way to meet the function. Simple enough, right? The function is to help me deal with frustration or anger, the behavior we want to get rid of is swearing, and now we just have to figure out how to make it worth my while to knock it off.

But wait! What if we could alter environmental conditions such that I wouldn’t be as likely to curse as much – wouldn’t that be helpful? I’ve found that my fuse is a lot shorter when I’m sleep-deprived, so one of my first steps toward cleaning up my language was actually trying to get more sleep. I didn’t collect hard data on this, but I did notice that on where days I slipped up, I usually had only gotten about 4 or 5 hours of sleep the previous night. Anecdotally speaking, days that followed 6 or more hours of sleep were far less likely to see me curse. Also, I tended to swear more when I drove (my wife and I drive to work together, so this was relatively easy to address – she agreed to take the wheel some days when I just felt particularly worn down from work). This is called controlling the setting event (long-term lead-up to the behavior, like how much sleep I got) and antecedent (letting me ride shotgun).

The flipside to the antecedent, of course, is the consequence. Although the word has negative connotations, it really just means what occurs as a result of the behavior. We already addressed my most consistent consquence: I felt a little better about whatever was bugging me after swearing. Fair enough, but the other consequences were that my son was repeating me and my wife was severely agitated. The cons outweigh the pros here, and things needed to change.

Let’s review!

Setting event _____ leads to antecedent _____ leads to target behavior _____ leads to consequence _____.

If you can successfully fill in these blanks, you’ll have the tools to manage any undesired behavior – yours or somebody else’s. @JackieB, @audhilly, and anyone else who’s trying to break themselves (or a student) of a bad habit, this is one fill-in-the-blank worksheet that might be worth your while. Next time, we’ll add the final two components: time and reinforcement.

Tick Tick Tickin’ in My Head

The “Ain’t Misbehavin'” series returns soon. I just needed to get this off my chest.

Remember a few months ago I developed a wiki for one of the departments at my school? I updated the “Article of the Month” section over the weekend and sent the department an email yesterday to let them know (as well as call for contributors – total number (beside me) in the last 4 months: 0).

One of the teachers sent a nice email to tell me that the wiki was a very worthwhile project, but that she doesn’t even have time to look at it, let alone contribute information to it. Look, I know everyone’s got their own stuff going on, especially in the home stretch of the school year, but damn. At first it didn’t bother me, but like a grain of sand in my sock, it grew slightly more irritating the more I thought about it.

My first thought (vented in a Tweet earlier today): I teach a full courseload, continually develop new projects for my students, parent a 3-year-old and a newborn, do a grad school internship, attend graduate classes, and I found time to WRITE the damn thing – you can’t even look at it?

My second thought: You don’t have time to visit a website, but you have time to write me an email telling me you don’t have time to visit a website?

Is this what it’s like being a technology coordinator?

Ain’t Misbehavin’, Part I

 NB: I originally wrote this at the end of January 2008, but never got around to posting.  With very little blogging time available to me in the immediate future, I present it to you today.

Shortly after I announced my victory post to the Twitterverse last Sunday night, Jackie inquired:

@garageflowers -As I’m trying to give something up, I’m wondering: how do you know it’s a broken habit? I’m still thinking about mine -a lot

My response well exceeded the 140 characters limit, but as I wrote, I got to thinking about the behavioral and psychological implications of my silly little experiment. Here are my responses, compiled & edited for clarity:

There’s no way to “tell” for sure; I just have learned to better control my impulses – over the last 20 years or so, cursing has become reflexive for me, and I first started this project about a month ago, so I’ve had quite a few false starts. I finally feel like I have more control; I’m better able to stop and think and choose words more carefully before just letting loose.

I don’t know what Jackie’s thinking about giving up, but if you (or your spouse, or kids, or students) find yourself in a similar situation, it may pay to shift your thinking a bit.

Old & Busted: Why do I/he/she/it do that?

The New Hotness: What function does this behavior serve?

Generally speaking, human behavior can be boiled down to attempts to serve one of four major functions:

  1. It feels good (self-stimulation)
  2. It gets us out of having to do something difficult or unpleasant (task escape/avoidance)
  3. It gets (or keeps) us attention (um… pretty self-explanatory, I think)
  4. It reduces pain or stress (yeah, this one too)

For me, I think cursing suited functions #1 and 4. Go on, get real angry then say the “F” word – it feels so nice and percussive in that labio-dental sort of way – there’s a reason why we say that instead of “rutabaga” or “sassafrass”, you know. Ridiculous as it sounds, it soothed me when I was frustrated, angry, or in pain. Unfortunately, my wife hates it, and my kid’s starting to repeat it. Intellectually, I know I should stop, but the instant gratification I receive from the behavior is too strong. So what’s a reflective, self-aware pottymouth to do?  In the short term…

  1. Figure out the function, then find another way to serve that function
  2. Determine an alternate, preferred behavior
  3. Provide incentive to choose the preferred behavior over the target behavior

More in Part II…