Fraying at the Edges [BTP]

I’ve been working from home for two and a half weeks now by the time this posts Friday morning, and it will have been a solid three that my students, my wife, and my kids have been on “remote instruction” to varying degrees in each of our districts.

We are hanging in there, but the effects of social distancing and our state stay-at-home order (we’ve been basically following it all this time but it was made official yesterday; no foolin’) are beginning to take their toll.

There were tears, raised voices, heated tempers, and arguments that had no reason to be arguments this week between and among all four of us. The effects of social isolation are starting to take their toll on all of us, to varying degrees and at different times. I’ve taken on the role of ‘grocery getter’, which is the only reason I leave the house other than to take walks with my family, and I look forward to those trips with about equal parts excitement (for a change of scenery) and anxiety (over the thought that this trip could be the one during which I contract the virus… if I don’t have it already).

Of the four of us, I honestly thought I would have the easiest time navigating this forced isolation. Even on my best days I love nothing more than whiling away time at home, preferring it to pretty much any other place I could be most days. As much as I enjoy traveling, there’s nothing like coming home to my own bed. Issa Rae put it better than I possibly could:

Turns out being at home is only as fun as my ability to decide to not be at home.

My county has put together an informative website for government updates and tracking confirmed cases across the county. As of this evening, my township is one of many in which there have only been between 1-10 confirmed cases. That gives me some comfort that I’m not going out into a densely populated area with a high rate of infection, but I also know that those numbers only represent the number of tested and confirmed cases, and that there are any number of people walking around, either asymptomatic or symptomatic but not tested.

It seems like almost every day, there are more deaths in the news, both of local people and celebrities. Last night it was announced that Adam Schlesinger died at 52 from complications from covid-19. Aside from numerous other musical accomplishments, I knew him first as the bassist and co-songwriter for Fountains of Wayne, a band I discovered at 19 and have loved ever since (more than half my life by this point). I normally don’t much care about celebrities passing, other than to recognize the inherent sadness in the loss of human life and then move on with my day, but Schlesinger’s death hit a little differently for me.

I got to see the band play in New Hope in March 2013 shortly before they broke up and I was under no misapprehensions that they were ever getting back together again, so it’s not like I was holding out for the reunion tour. In talking with my wife this morning about the fact that this particular death has impacted me so disproportionately, I think I figured out why. I like a lot of bands across genres, but Fountains of Wayne was one that legitimately brought me joy. I don’t know that I can say that about any other band. Musically, stylistically, thematically, lyrically… maybe the fact that we both have roots in New Jersey, and that featured prominently in FoW’s work… whatever it was, I felt a connection with their body of work that I can’t recall feeling for any other artist or band of any genre, including bands I would otherwise classify as my favorites.

I’m getting back into my feelings again. I’m not usually this guy and I’m wondering how much of how I’m reacting to this news has to do with the above paragraph and how much has to do with the cumulative impact of everything that has happened regarding the pandemic over the last few weeks.

One false move, baby, suddenly everything’s ruined…